Movies I Watched Once (And Never Will Again)

GUNS FOR HIRE – The movie looks like it was shot on an iphone (but this ain’t no Tangerine) and the “sets” look like they were borrowed from a porn shoot.

Guns -poster

Despite the title and the jazzy artwork on the dust cover there are no action sequences (unless you count the brief girl-on-girl action early in the movie … if you’re into that sort of thing).

Basically, the alleged “plot” (credited to director Donna Robinson, according to imdb this is her only feature film as a director, gee, what a surprise) is about a young woman named Beatle  (played by Michele Hicks) whose business card reads “towing /assassin” (Honest! I don’t make these things up!) She is hired by another young woman, Athena (Ever Carradine) to kill her. At the last moment Beatle loses her nerve. (Maybe Miss Hicks’ character could just talk Athena to death.)

Guns - dialogue
Ever Carradine (right) and Michele Hicks (left) in Guns for Hire – Dialogue that Makes You Wanna retch!

The cast also includes Tony Shalhoub (TV’s Monk), Jeffrey Dean  Morgan (Watchmen), Brooke Adams (the great indies Days Of Heaven and Gas Food Lodging) and several other people who ought to know better.

Although she is not listed anywhere onscreen, the name Katherine Brooks appears on the DVD cover I rented from my local video shop. Turns out our Miss Brooks has a truckload of credits as a writer and director including the cult film Loving Annabelle (which may explain the girl-on-girl scenes. I said, MAY explain.)

Guns -original title
The original title of the movie that later became Guns for Hire

Author: rixbitz

media gadfly

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