Yes, I Watched the Movie …..

bay - poster 2

Director Barry Battles wastes no time getting the party started.

The guns are already blazing while the opening credits roll.

 Those trigger happy punks are three redneck brothers – Brick (Clayne Crawford), McQueen (Travis Fimmell) and Lincoln (Daniel Cudmore) Oodie – who work for a vigilante Alabama sheriff (Andre Braugher) with his own way of keeping the crime rate low. 

Andre Braugher as Sheriff Millard - "Shoot first and DON'T ask questions  later."
Andre Braugher as Sheriff Millard in Baytown Outlaws  – “Shoot first and DON’T ask questions
later.”

Federal  agent Reese (Paul Wesley, TV’s Vampire Diaries) suspects something is rotten in the state of Alabama and sets out to investigate.

Meanwhile, much to the chagrin of the Sheriff, the Oodie bros decide to take on a side project.  Foxy femme Celeste (Eva Longoria) has hired the boys to snatch her godson, Rob,  from the clutches of a psycho drug dealer named Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton). 

With their usual subtlety, the boys back into the druglord’s lair with their car and  grab  the aforementioned Rob (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) who turns out to be a mute and mentally challenged young man  in a wheelchair.

The rest of the movie can be summed up in one sentence. The Oodies have Rob  and Carlos wants him back for his nefarious reasons.

To achieve this, he sends out squads of assassins including a scantily dressed bunch of biker beauties led by Zoe Bell; a group of  dreadlocked African-Americans riding in what looks like a reconverted tank and a band of chopper-riding Native Americans who like to scalp their victims. (Obviously, director Battles, who co-wrote the script, has never met a stereotype he didn’t like.)